For your delight and delectation - a tantalising sample of the script.
Daniel, the pirate captain, has been told by James that searching in the hotel grounds is not on!
 
James
I fancy that your journey here has been in vain, Captain. I forbid you to dig anywhere else in or around this hotel. I won’t allow it.

Daniel
Can you not be persuaded, sir?

James
Captain, this is a hotel, I won’t allow tentative digs turning my grounds into the Somme.

Daniel
But, we’ve travelled a long way, Master James.

THE BOSUN GRABS DANIEL TO ONE SIDE.

Bosun (sotto voce)
Why do we not simply slit everyone’s throat? We can then search at our ease.

Daniel
(AGHAST) Kill everyone? What kind of people do you think we are?

Bosun
Er . . . pirates?